Where Do Nightmares End?
by Harmony Delaceur
Summary: Antonio Fernandez is an 18 year old struggling to start over new. He finds a new life in the Vargas household as a nanny, and he settles in and even finds love. What what happens when Antonio's haunted past catches up with him and threatens everything he holds dear?
1. Whose Lovely Eyes

He crossed his arms tight over his stomach, shoulders hunched forward even as he peered excitedly out the window. The plane bumped down on the runway, jolting him slightly. As the airplane halted, he felt nerves causing his stomach to flip over. The plane was unloaded quickly, and he had never been so relieved to feel solid ground beneath his feet.

The airport was crowded and loud, and he felt himself beginning to panic. Before the fear could really creep in, however, he saw a tall man with grey streaked russet curls holding a sign high over the crowd.

Antonio Carriedo.

It was with a sigh of relief that Antonio hurried to the tall man, clutching his duffle bag and guitar case tight to his chest. Antonio stopped before the man, unsure of what to say, but thinking that he should be a bit more assertive and friendly. After all, he was the man who would be caring for his children.

"Hello, Antonio." the russet haired man said with a warm smile, lowering the sign. "I'm Romulus Vargas, but you may call me Roma." Roma had a wide smile on his face.

"Yes sir. Roma." Antonio said, stumbling a bit over his words and mentally face palming. Roma began to walk, and Antonio hurried to keep with him.

"How was your flight?" Roma asked as they ducked into his car. It was a nice car, Antonio knew that, and he realized that Roma's suit was Armani.

"It was fine. There was a bit of turbulence, but nothing terrible." Antonio said, holding his bag tight in his hands. Roma glanced at him.

"You don't have to be worried, Antonio." Roma said, mistaking his anxiety for nerves. "My sons are good children, for the most part. You may have a bit of trouble with Lovino, my eldest, but he's just grumpy because I hired a nanny. " Roma laughs. "Lovino is fourteen, and he's independent is all."

Antonio nodded to himself, forcing himself to relax his death grip on the beaten up duffle bag. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. This was a new start for himself, away from the horror his life had been in Buñol, Spain. He was going to be a new person here, that's what he had decided when he took this job.

The car pulled up to a very nice manor type home, and Antonio stared at it in awe as he climbed out of the car. "Whoa..." he murmured softly.

Roma laughed. "This house was passed down to me from my own father." he explained, leading Antonio inside the house. "Boys!" he bellowed, making Antonio jump and nearly drop his bag. He heard the pattering of footsteps, and then three boys hurried down the steps, stopping when they reached the bottom.

The children stared at Antonio, and he stared back. The smallest one, Seraphino if he remembered correctly, had auburn hair and amber eyes, and he clung to his brother a bit shyly. The second biggest one, Feliciano, had red hair and light honey eyes, and had a decidedly fragile air to him. Lovino, the oldest, had hair that looked to be very dark brown and the brightest green eyes Antonio had ever seen. After a moment of staring, Roma took a step forward.

"Boys, this is Antonio. I told you he was coming. Antonio, these are my sons: Lovino, Feliciano, and Seraphino." Roma said cheerfully. Antonio gave a halfhearted wave, and Feliciano bit back a giggle.

_Smile._ Antonio reminded himself firmly, and he forced a smile for the three boys. It felt wooden and fake, but it was apparently convincing. Seraphino and Feliciano both smiled shyly in response, but Lovino merely huffed and looked away, arms crossed. Roma sighed.

"I have to leave for work, so I'm counting on you three to help Antonio settle in." Roma said. He went to his children and kissed them each on the forehead, pausing when Lovino turned his head away with a scowl. Roma left soon after, and Antonio was left standing there with his bag, suddenly feeling out of place in the immaculate house and expensive furniture.

It was the shy one, Seraphino, who made the first move. He stepped forward, and peered up at Antonio with a curious glint to his eyes. "Your eyes are pretty." the boy said.

Antonio gave the wooden smile again. "Thank you, Seraphino." he said, crouching a bit to look the boy in the eyes. "How old are you?"

"I'm eight!" Seraphino said proudly, puffing out his little chest.

"Really?" Antonio feigned surprise. "You look so much older! It must be those big muscles!" Seraphino ate it up, bouncing excitedly.

"Knock it off, Sera." Lovino snapped, and the eight year old bowed his head instantly. Lovino strode forward purposefully, taking Antonio's duffle bag and handing it off to Feliciano, as well as the duffle bag, and Feliciano let out a little huff as he took its weight. Lovino's hand closed around Antonio's shirtsleeve, half leading, half dragging the Spaniard up the ornate staircase, down a hallway, to a closed door. Feliciano followed with the duffle bag dutifully.

"This is your room." Lovino said, dropping Antonio's sleeve and scowling. "Do whatever you want. Fels, we have to finish our homework. You too, Sera."

"But Lovi!" Feliciano protested in a rather falsetto voice.

"Come on, Feli!" Lovino snapped, grabbing Feliciano's hand and all but dragging the poor boy away. Seraphino followed quickly after them.

With the children off doing their homework, Antonio headed into his new room. It was large, with a hardwood floor and a huge bed done with white sheets and a dark blue blanket. There was a bay window overlooking a small creek and willow tree, and a dresser in the corner. The closet was modest, but that wasn't a problem. Antonio didn't bring much with him. He flopped on the bed, hands behind his head.

Seraphino and Feliciano were both sweet children as far as Antonio could tell. But Lovino seemed bitter and angry at everyone. He turned to his side, facing the bay window, thinking about how he should probably unpack and then go learn more about what he was supposed to do here. But even before the thoughts were completed, Antonio was asleep.

.~*~.

"Oi! Bastard!" an angry voice woke Antonio sometime later, and he sat up, eyes wide and heart pounding like mad, to see Lovino standing in the door with a scowl in place. Antonio looked out the window, grateful to see he hadn't been asleep very long at all.

"A-Ah, Lovino..." Antonio said guiltily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Caught napping on his first day. "I'm sorry, I was-"

"Don't care, bastard." Lovino said, cutting off the Spaniard, and Antonio's eyes widened. This boy cussed like a sailor.

Feliciano peeked his head around the doorway with a sweet smile. "Hi Antonio." the younger brother said cheerfully. "Can you make us dinner per favore?"

"Of course." Antonio said, scrambling off the bed and running a hand through his dark curls. Feliciano led the way to the nice kitchen, where Seraphino was sitting in a stool at the counter, swinging his feet and a book in his hands. "So what do you boys want for dinner?" Antonio asked the room at large as Lovino slunk into the kitchen.

"Can we have gnocchi?" Seraphino asked excitedly, looking up from his book. Antonio smiled a bit shakily. "Sure thing." He set about to rooting through the cupboards for the ingredients he'd need.

"We have frozen gnocchi." Lovino stated flatly.

Antonio paused for a moment, then renewed his search. "Well, nothing beats homemade gnocchi. Oh! And you have tomatoes! I could even make some nice sauce to go with this!"

He had to admit, he was starting to feel a bit excited. Cooking was one of his greatest talents, and he couldn't wait to see what the boys would make of his cooking capabilities. Maybe it would even be enough to make Lovino smile. It was easy to lose himself in the careful calculations of measuring and mixing, and this was the distraction that Antonio had needed. He could feel all of his anxiety and fears being pushed to the back of his mind, and for a moment, he felt at peace.

"Ta-da!" Antonio said, putting the bowls on the table with a bit of a flourish. The gnocchi were perfectly shaped, the sauce smooth. He had even thrown in a bit of shredded chicken breast and topped the whole thing off with a sprinkling of cheese.

"Oh! Ve~ this is fantastic, Toni!" Feliciano exclaimed in delight after only one bite. Seraphino agreed with an eager nod, shoveling another bite into his mouth. Antonio glanced at Lovino, but the dark haired boy ate quietly, his face expressionless and eyes downcast. Antonio sighed, taking a bite from his own plate.

A few hours later, Antonio crept quietly down the big hallway, stopping before each door. He peeked in Seraphino's room, pleased to see the auburn haired boy sleeping peacefully under a quilt. He moved on to Feliciano's room, where the redhead was twisted in the sheets but breathing peacefully in slumber. Lovino's door was locked, and Antonio returned to his own room. He had left the kitchen spotless after dinner, and now he lay in bed, the blanket warm and comfortable.

It was amazing now much different he felt. He had been here for only one day, but he already felt a little lighter, a little freer He was sleepy, but it was not the emotional and mental exhaustion he had become familiar with, but a physical tiredness that signaled an active day, just like his therapist had recommended. He had one final thought as he drifted off to sleep.

This place really was good for him.


	2. Jade By Colour

Antonio woke early the next morning to the patter of rain hitting the window of his bedroom, hungry and thoughts of a nice breakfast on his mind. He sat up, yawning widely and was almost to the door before he realized.

Last night, there had been no nightmares.

Stopping in his tracks, he furrowed his brow, running through the fragments of dreams that stuck in his mind. There had been no terror last night, no nightmares for the first time since the incident. An incredulous smile crept across his features, and he headed downstairs with a bounce in his step. He puttered around the kitchen, deciding on French toast for breakfast, and had the food almost finished by the time Lovino made his way into the kitchen, bed headed and yawning.

"Good morning." Antonio said, plastering his fake, too happy smile on his face as he divvied up the French toast.

Lovino shot Antonio a look, and the Italian appeared to be analyzing the Spaniard's face. Antonio dropped his head, hiding his wooden smile from his charge. Before Lovino had the chance to berate the Spaniard, a distraction arrived in the form of Seraphino, who was perfectly dressed, hair combed, but tired eyed as he sat at the breakfast bar.

"It's raining." Seraphino announced, looking out the windows at the grey sky.

"Somehow, I managed to figure that out." Lovino muttered, but he did not seem to mean the harsh words as he spoke to his youngest brother.

"Where is Feliciano?" Antonio asked, as minutes passed and the middle brother did not appear.

"He'll be up soon." Seraphino said, more cheerfully now that he was waking up. "Feli sleeps more than Lovi and I do, so he stays in bed longer in the mornings."

Antonio blinked. "Alright." he said after a moment, setting a plate down in front of each kid. He watched Lovino closely as the boy took his first bite, and was again disappointed by the lack of a response that he got. Seraphino, on the other hand, smiled brightly, proclaiming that it was absolutely delicious.

Feliciano finally drifted into the kitchen, dressed in his school uniform but without his shoes. Also, it appeared as though his hair had a mind of his own. The three brothers ate quickly, chattering quietly amongst themselves as they finished getting ready for school.

"How do you boys usually get to school?" Antonio asked, peering out the window at the rain that showed no signs of letting up.

"We walk." Feliciano said with a sweet smile. "Even in the rain."

Antonio frowned a bit at this thought. Surely the boys would get sick walking in the rain like that. Especially since it was January. It would be irresponsible to let the boys walk in this downpour.

"Does Roma have more than one car?" Antonio asked, though he felt that the question was a bit redundant. With a house this big and enough money to hire a nanny, he was sure that the man did own multiple vehicles.

"Sì, he does." Seraphino said, gesturing out the window to the garage attached to the house. "Why?"

"Do you think he would be okay with me driving you three to school?" Antonio asked, feeling a bit awkward. When it came to things like this, he always felt a bit like he was overstepping his boundaries.

"He won't mind." Lovino said, speaking with an admirable level of certainty that Antonio wished he possessed. The eldest Italian wore his trademark scowl, glaring at the floor.

Antonio nodded, and he made his way to the garage, all three children following him like baby ducks. When he reached the garage and flipped on the light, he paused. There were three cars in the large area. A red Porsche Turbo, a silver Mercedes Benz, and a black Aston Martin Vanquish. Antonio knew next to nothing about cars, but even he knew that these were all relatively nice cars. He continued to stand there like a fool as the Italians made their way to the Porsche and climbed inside, looking at him expectantly. So Antonio shook his head, grabbed the Porsche's keys from the bowl by the door, and climbed into the driver's seat.

The Porsche ran like a dream, and when Antonio returned from taking the kids to school, he ran a reverent hand over the shiny red hood. The only car Antonio had ever driven previously was a beat up, clunky Honda Civic.

"Nice, isn't she?" a voice came from behind Antonio, and the Spaniard spun around, heart in his throat. Roma stood in the garage doorway, smiling at him.

"I-I drove the k-kids to school." Antonio said, suddenly terribly afraid that he'd be reprimanded. "I-Is that okay..?"

"Of course it is, Antonio." Roma said, giving a deep, rumbling laugh. "You don't have to be so nervous around me, you know. I don't bite or anything."

Antonio looked down at the floor, embarrassed, and made his way to where Roma stood. He handed the keys to Roma, only to have Roma press them a little more firmly in his hand. Antonio looked up at the Italian man, who was smiling kindly.

"You're going to need a car to drive. You can hang onto these." Roma said.

"T-Thank you, sir.." Antonio stuttered a bit, feeling a little overwhelmed at Roma's generosity.

"You're very welcome." Roma said as the two made their way into the living room. "Now listen, there is something I want to talk to you about."

Antonio nodded, sitting on the edge of the closest seat, and Roma made himself at home on the chair directly across from him. Feeling a familiar sense of anxiety creeping up his throat, Antonio swallowed hard, forcing himself to sit back in the plush seat and to relax his clenched fists.

"I noticed that you've been cooking for my sons. That isn't part of your contract, but Feliciano was going on about how delicious the gnocchi you made last night was. I ate the leftovers, and you have quite the talent for cooking." Antonio smiled a bit at this, looking down at his fingers. "So if you would like to continue, you officially have free reign of the kitchen." Roma said, sweeping his hand towards the kitchen dramatically.

"Thank you Roma." Antonio said, with that little, shy, real smile on his lips.

"Just don't forget to eat." Roma laughed heartily, standing and clapping Antonio's shoulder. "For someone who cooks like you do, you're a bony thing!"

Antonio's real smile slipped away, and he forced a polite one. After the incident back in Spain, he had lost a considerable amount of weight, weight he still did not have the mental wellness to even begin to try to regain. Somehow, Roma seemed to sense the change in Antonio, for he smiled at the young man and released his shoulder.

"You look exhausted, Antonio. Go relax until the school day is over. I have to head back to work."

"Yes sir." Antonio said. And Roma was gone.

Antonio was destructive if left with his thoughts. When he was alone or bored, he started to remember. When he started to remember, he would do anything to stop. So instead, he cleaned. The Vargas house was great, yet it seemed to be a bit rundown, and Antonio spent over an hour simply cleaning the windows.

When the end of the day came, he drove the Porsche and picked up the three Italians. Seraphino and Feliciano chattered to each other and to Antonio, but Lovino just sat in stony faced silence, glaring out the window. Antonio was starting to suspect that this behavior just his usual personality, and not because of Antonio being there.

.~*~.

Two weeks passed. Slowly, the household fell into a comfortable rhythm. During the week, Antonio would get up, cook breakfast, see the kids off to school. When the kids were gone, he would look up recipes, still intent on making Lovino smile, or continue cleaning the great house. Roma was only ever home half the time, but when he was, he treated Antonio like one of his own children. It was confusing at first, but slowly, Antonio became used to the affectionate treatment. He had yet to win over the stubborn Lovino, but began to think of the boy's temper as adorable instead of irritating for some reason.

"Hey Antonio?" A hand touched the Spaniard's cheek, and he startled awake, limbs flailing. Slowly his heart rate returned to normal, and he realized that Feliciano was standing by his bed, sniffling.

"Ah, what's wrong, Feli?" Antonio asked, rubbing his eyes as the adrenalin faded. He glanced at his alarm clock and groaned softly. It was three in the morning.

"I-I had a bad dream..." Feliciano whimpered. Antonio sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

"Do you want me to lay with you?" Antonio offered, squashing down a sick feeling in his gut as a memory flashed in his mind. He bit his lip hard, using the pain to focus.

"S-Sì..." Feliciano sniffled. The boy took Antonio's hand, holding onto only two of Antonio's fingers, and Antonio followed Feliciano back to his bed.

Feliciano crawled under his thick covers, and Antonio lay next to him, watching as the little redhead strapped an odd mask over his face. "What is that?" Antonio asked softly as Feliciano turned the machine on.

"It's called a C-Pap machine. Lovi and I both have sleep apnea." Feliciano explained, his voice slightly distorted. "It means we stop breathing in our sleep sometimes. This machine helps us breathe."

"Oh." Antonio said. He yawned, and Feliciano closed his eyes. Before long, both were asleep.

"FELICIANO!"

Antonio and Feliciano both jerked awake, and Antonio slipped off the bed, landing hard on his rump on the hardwood floor. The frazzled Italian looked up to see an extremely pissed looking Lovino in the doorway, face red as a tomato.

"He had a nightmare." Antonio explained quickly, wincing as he got to his feet, rubbing his eyes.

Feliciano fumbled to remove his C-Pap device. "Calm down, fratellone." the littler redhead reacted calmly to his big brother's anger.

Antonio let out a slight huff that could almost be mistaken for laughter. "Don't worry, Lovino." He said, a nearly authentic lightness to his voice. "This Spanish gem only belongs to you."

Lovino had opened his mouth to retort before Antonio had finished speaking, but he then froze. The angry red colour faded from his face, and he spun on his heel, stalking away. Antonio shook his head, smiling as he headed to the kitchen.

"Good morning, Antonio." Roma said from the kitchen, where he was standing over a frying pan, making what smelled like scrambled eggs.

"Good morning, sir." Antonio said, almost not recognizing the lightness of his own voice.

Roma split the eggs onto different plates. "You've done very well so far, Antonio, and I want you to sit down and actually eat a meal with us." the elder Italian man said, putting the plates on the table. "Boys!" he called.

Antonio sat a bit uncomfortably as Lovino, Feliciano, and Seraphino filed in and took their seats. Breakfast was warm and comfortable, something Antonio was entirely not used to. He had to admit, this kind of atmosphere was nice.

After breakfast, Antonio found himself cornered by Lovino. The younger boy's face was red, and he seemed nervous. Antonio frowned slightly, concerned by the Italian's out of the ordinary behavior.

"Are you alright?" Antonio asked. "Your face is red."

"Sh-Shut up!" Lovino snapped, glaring at the floor. "I-I want to tell you something. So don't you dare try to interrupt me or anything!"

Antonio smiled a bit. The Italian's anger was so cute. Lovino had been the one to win most of Antonio's real smiles, whether the former realized it or not. "Alright." Antonio said. "What is it you want to tell me?"

Lovino fidgeted. "T-This morning, I felt weird when I found you in Feli's bed..." The Italian mumbled, face redder than ever. "I-I think it made me... jealous..."

Antonio's heart stopped as Lovino looked up at him with those green eyes. "Is it wrong to like another boy...?"


	3. Jaded By Years

Antonio looked down at the troubled teenager before him, and he dared to put a gentle hand on his thin shoulder. "This is the type of thing you should talk to your father about, you know that, right?" he said calmly.

"I know that, you bastard!" Lovino snapped, the red colour of his face and his fiery temper serving to brighten the beautiful green of his eyes. He knocked Antonio's hand off of his shoulder. "But if I went to Papa and ask him, he'd brush me off and tell me to stop copying Feliciano, dammit!"

Confused, Antonio blinked. "Copying Feliciano...?" he repeated. And suddenly, Lovino looked ready to cry.

"Yes, damn it all!" Lovino glared to the side. "Feliciano is Papa's favourite, we all know it! And Feliciano has liked boys as long as I can remember! If I tried to tell Papa about this then he would just think that I was trying to copy Feliciano again, and I don't want that! He'd just brush me aside! He hates me." The last few words rose into a whimper, and the red flush finally faded from Lovino's face. A single lonely tear rolled down his cheek.

The Italian looked so pathetic that Antonio couldn't resist drawing the boy into a hug, resting his chin on the dark hair, feeling his heart ache for the confused boy. "He doesn't hate you." Antonio said, his voice gentle to avoid upsetting the boy further. "Roma doesn't hate you. He's always bragging to me about you getting honour roll three years in a row, and that you've taken such good care of your brothers. He does love you very much, Lovi. And I don't see any problem with you liking boys." Antonio smiled, though he knew Lovino could not see it. "After all, I'm bisexual. I've had boyfriends and girlfriends in the past. So don't you dare let anyone tell you it's wrong. Don't let what anyone tells you stop you from being yourself. Stop crying, okay?"

Against his chest, Lovino bawled. "I wanted to hate you, d-damn it!"

Antonio chuckled softly. It seems as though he had gotten through to the boy after all.

.~*~.

After that, Antonio was thrilled to discover that Lovino was making an effort to be nicer to the Spaniard, though his natural bad temper and apparently wild emotion broke through often. But whenever he brought out one of Lovino's rare smiles, it made a shock of happiness travel through his body.

It was amazing to look back and realize how far Antonio had come. He kept a running tally of the nights he spent nightmare free, and it filled him with pride to watch the little tick marks increasing. The nightmares were gone, the trembling, rabbit-like fear he felt in uncertainty was easing up more than he ever thought possible. Yet he still found his thoughts plagued by memories when he was left on his own. Sure, certain aspects of his condition had gotten better, but some parts remained and got worse. Antonio still spent any free time cleaning compulsively, too afraid to be left alone with his thoughts, and he still was not eating nearly as well as he should be. In fact, when Antonio had stepped on the scale in the Vargas' bathroom, he saw that he had actually lost five pounds, and found himself tightening his belt tighter than he had been.

"Bye, Toni!" Feliciano shouted.

"Ciao, Toni!" Seraphino called.

Lovino said nothing, he simply followed his little brothers out the door as they headed off to school. Antonio waved to them through the window, them returned to the kitchen, his wooden smile falling off his face as he gathered the dirty dishes from breakfast.

Once the dishes were clean and put away, he leaned his elbow on the counter, chin in his palm and gazing rather aimlessly out the window. His mind began to drift...

...To a certain girl with a green headband.

Antonio wrenched himself out of his thoughts, shaking his head so violently that he became unsteady and fell to the floor, thumping his elbow solidly on the edge of the counter.

He lay there for a moment, pain zinging through his entire arm, and he reveled in the pain. It, as always, became his anchor, keeping his thoughts firmly grounded and allowing him to return to himself.

Finally, he pulled himself to his feet, rubbing his painful elbow as he made his way to his room and sat on the bed.

"Antonio."

Antonio jumped, his heart racing as he looked up to see Roma standing in his doorway. The russet haired Italian man leaned on the doorframe and there were pronounced lines around his mouth as he gazed at the Spaniard.

_Worry lines._ Antonio realized subconsciously, setting down the shoe he had been about to put on. He was planning to walk through the gardens and look for weeds while the children were at school.

"What is it, Roma?" Antonio asked, straightening a bit.

"I thought I heard you fall in the kitchen. It made a rather loud thump, and I wanted to make sure that you were alright." Roma said, moving a bit inside the room.

Antonio grimaced. He hadn't known it was that loud. "Ah, that." he said, scratching his head awkwardly. "I tripped over my own two feet and ended up on the floor!"

He followed it up with a laugh that sounded so fake and forced even to his own ears that he scarcely kept himself from cringing. But Roma nodded, seemingly convinced. The older Italian smiled gently, clapping Antonio on the shoulder gently.

"Be careful out in the gardens." Roma said finally before leaving. Antonio nodded.

"Yes sir."

.~*~,

_"'Tonio, 'Tonio. Wherefore art thou, 'Tonio?"_

_Antonio smiled, feeling a sense of joy in his chest as he turned, raising a hand to shield his eyes from the beautiful sunlight, to see the girl who had so laughingly called his name. _

_But he saw her only for an instant, for as he turned to receive her sunny smile, the air became dark, and a chill stole its way down his spine. Before him was a desolate grave, a headstone cut from cold granite that glowed in a sickening way in the still air. the sunlight was gone, and there seemed to be an ominous light pulsing from inside the stone itself. Antonio took a step back, a hand flying to his mouth as he felt his back bump into something._

_He turned, slowly, knowing what he would find._

_The decomposing corpse, half skeleton, half rotting flesh. The lovely hair was gone, and only one eye remained in its socket. The other dangled by the optic nerve down the grotesque cheek, and the mouth smiled in a repulsing grin._

_"You let me die, 'Tonio." The words came garbled from a rotted tongue, and a spray of maggots burst from her chest, right where her heart would be. The little white larvae flew through the air, onto Antonio's skin, into his shirt, in his hair, and one landed in his mouth. Antonio screamed._

"Antonio!"

Hands grabbed him, shaking him, and Antonio wrenched himself back into awareness to find himself drenched in a cold sweat, and Roma's capable hands wrapped easily around his thin biceps.

"R-Roma?!" Antonio sobbed like a child, relieved to be woken from the nightmare that had plagued him since the incident in Buñol.

"It's okay, Antonio. I've got you." Roma murmured.

Roma said nothing more, merely crushed the Spaniard to his chest in a very fatherly gesture, letting Antonio cry and cry.

"Pa." Came a subdued voice from the doorway, and Antonio's streaming eyes could barely make out Lovino's form. "Pa, I heard screaming. What's wrong?"

"Antonio had a nightmare. It's okay now." Roma said, gently releasing Antonio as his sobs turned to hiccupping sniffles.

"Can I help?" Lovino asked, moving farther into the room.

"Sure, Lovi. We can all go sit downstairs and have some warm milk or hot cocoa or something." Roma said, smiling indulgently.

Even through the terror still curling in his gut, Antonio looked up in surprise. Lovino's startling green eyes were concerned as they evaluated him, and Antonio realized how pathetic he must look. He climbed out of bed, and Roma stood, moving to the doorway as Antonio fumbled for his robe and pulled it on. Then, Roma led the two downstairs and into the kitchen, flicking on the lights and going to the fridge.

Lovino scrambled onto the seat next to Antonio, his gorgeous eyes sleepy and concerned. His dark hair was ruffled from sleep, his cheeks pale pink in the light. Antonio gazed upon the boy, taking him in, before snapping back to himself.

What was he doing? He recognized this flutter in his chest and stomach, and he could not feel that way about Lovino! The boy was fourteen, just a kid! Not only that, but there was no way Lovino could like him. He carried too much emotional baggage, his mentality was too unstable. Antonio let his head drop to the counter with a sigh.

He couldn't love Lovino.

He _couldn't._

But he did.


End file.
